Sizzle and Burn

Don't hate me for the ending.

Disclaimer :Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, she is the one who gave us these characters to play with ;)

I was an ordinary girl. I had ordinary friends and I led an ordinary life. I was happy, content with my life. My parents separated when I was just a little kid and I had moved to Forks, Washington to live with my dad. My mom had remarried, unlike my father, and lived in Los Angeles with her husband Phil who was a radio DJ for their local radio station.
My life in Forks was simple. I got up every morning at 6 am to get ready for school and on the weekends, I worked at the local grocery store owned by the parents of my friend Mike Newton.
The group of people I hung out with was my life. When I wasn't in school studying, or working at Newton's Grocery, I was with them.
Rosalie Hale, or the ice queen to some people, was one of those people whom you didn't want to fuck with so you became friends with her instantly. Although, once you gave her a chance she really wasn't as bad as she seemed. Rosalie, or Rose as we called her, has been dating my brother Emmett for three years. When we were sophomores, our dad made us switch over to public school and that is where he met Rose.
Then there were the Cullen's, Alice and Edward.
Edward was the guy at our school that every single girl wanted to touch. He was tall and well built. He had deep green eyes that seemed to sparkle, yes fucking sparkle, in the sun. His bronze "just been fucked" hair was something that even I, at one point in my life, had wanted to run my hands through. He and I were the only people in our "group" that was not dating anyone. Of course, with this I sometimes imagined myself being intimate with him. He was gorgeous yes, but he had quite the reputation. While I was content with my average status, I wasn't ok with being just another ordinary girl and definitely not interested in adding my name to Edward Cullen's list of conquests. Everyone expected him and I to date because let's face it; I was single, he was single and because of that we were the outcasts of our group.
That is where Alice comes in.
Alice was my best friend in the entire world. With her small frame and pixie like appearance, you couldn't help but fall in love with her. She has been there for me through everything. If I needed to talk to her about anything, she would be over in a heartbeat. It was almost as if she had some sort of super power and could use speed to her advantage.
Alice had secrets, and I held them close to me. You see, Alice, although on the outside seemed extremely happy, was broken on the inside. She wasn't biologically a Cullen. She was placed in foster care when she was twelve and Carlisle and Esme adopted her about four years later. Albeit a relatively short time in foster care, the damage to her soul was severe. I don't know the details of all the disturbing things that happened to Alice while in foster care. However, I knew one thing, whatever it was it was devastating. I knew this because whenever she was having an extremely bad day, I would get a text to come over and help her. When the pain got too bad, she couldn't deal. She was a cutter and self-mutilation was her coping mechanism. Jasper and I were the only ones who were aware, and I knew it was important for it to stay that way because we could not lose her. She was scared if her parents found out they would put her into a psychiatric facility. She had my word I wouldn't say anything, but I knew that if it escalated I would have to intervene. As far as I knew, she hadn't cut herself or harmed herself in any way for months now; that gave me reassurance but I still worried about her every day.
Alice meant a lot to me, I loved her like a sister, and that is why what I have been doing for the past two weeks has been killing me. I loved Alice, and she was more than just my best friend. However, I was also falling in love with her boyfriend Jasper.

Jasper was Rosalie's brother and he was a year older than we were. While we were seniors in high school, he was taking a year off college to work on his music. The moment I met him a year ago there was something about him that drew me in. He had a southern accent that made me swoon whenever I talked to him, and he was such the gentleman. Jasper was the complete opposite of Edward in so many good ways. He had blue eyes and a darker brown shade of hair. He and I shared many similar interests. We loved the same music and found solace in the lyrics of our favorite artists.
Now as I sat here with him sitting inches from me, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. It was just an ordinary Friday at Alice's house. After school that day, we were all supposed to meet her at her and Edward's house at six.
Of course, she had decided to go shopping before hanging out and was running late. I glanced up at the clock making sure I didn't make eye contact with Jasper. Ironically, I had a feeling that he and I would be the ones who were here early. I played with my hands trying to avoid his eyes.
The uncomfortable silence enveloped us. We both were well aware that all of the hand touches, and bumps into each other were much more than just accidental. Then there had been the kiss that had happened just weeks before.
It had been a Friday night and everyone wanted something to do. Emmett and I decided to have everyone over at our house for a movie night. Charlie was out for the evening on duty, which meant Emmett and I had the house to ourselves. It had been the end of the night and everyone was leaving. We all bid our goodbyes, I hugged Alice, and she gave me a kiss. Then I expertly dodged Edward as he tried to swoop me up and hug me an extra time. Emmett was going to stay the night with Rose and so I listened to him as he gave me his speech on being careful since I would be home alone until four the next morning. He could be so overprotective at times.
I was finishing the cleaning from our evening festivities when I heard a knock at my door. I threw the pizza box into the trashcan and walked to the front door, peeking out of the window next to it to see who it was. Jasper Hale was standing on my front doorstep.
Unlocking the door, I opened it welcoming him in.
He came in fast as if he was in a rush, running a hand through his somewhat damp hair. It looked like it had begun to rain. "Sorry to bug you Bella, but I forgot my cell phone here."
I laughed, "That's ok, I haven't gotten to that part of the cleaning yet but let's go see if we can find it; I'll even help you look." I said leading him back into the living room. I grabbed the piles of blankets that were around the floor and shook them out, hoping to find the cell phone.
When I had no luck, I folded the blankets and put them back in the basket next to Charlie's chair where they belonged.
"Here you forgot one." He said handing me a blanket he had just folded up. I went to take it from his hands and when our fingers touched, it was electric. I pulled away quickly and averted my eyes. Touching your best friend's boyfriend was not supposed to be like this. However, I tried to shake it off as I had before. "Sorry". He said with a grin that made my stomach feel like it had butterflies in it. I shook my head, waved off his apology, and continued to search.
Finally, after almost a half an hour of searching, we found his cell phone. I didn't mind spending the time looking for the phone; we had used it to talk about things. I learned more about where he came from. I knew from overhearing him telling Emmett that he and Rosalie were from Texas, but now I knew he was from Austin. He told me a little bit more about his lifestyle there, and it fascinated me for some reason. We then talked a little bit about music and his ideas of where he wanted to go with his music career.
"Thanks for helping me look for that Bella, hope I wasn't intruding darlin." He said as we walked back towards the door.
I smiled, "No I didn't mind at all…it was great talking to you." I said shoving my hands into my back pocket. Trying to gracefully recover from hearing Jasper call me darlin'.
He smiled and ran his hand through his hair. "Well I guess I had better get going." He said.
I nodded and rocked back on my feet. He leaned in to hug me, "Goodnight Bella." He said putting his arms around me pulling me into a hug as we have done so many times before. But this time the hug wasn't the end of his goodbye. He pulled away slightly and kissed my cheek.
Startled, I pulled away; my arms still wrapped around his waist, and looked at him. His eyes were a piercing blue and his full lips were in a line, not smiling, but not frowning. My eyes moved frantically from his lips to his eyes and I searched them, trying to figure out what was happening.
It didn't occur to me that he would kiss me. Regardless of our now, seemingly obvious attraction, I never imagined either one of us would ever act on our feelings. I knew it was wrong as he brought his hand up to cup the right side of my face. I knew it was wrong as I watched him come in closer, to the point where I could feel him breathing on my face. I knew it was wrong as I allowed myself to bring my own face closer to his, breaking the distance between his lips and mine. But as soon as my lips touched his, I was thoughtless. I couldn't think about anything except how his lips felt as they moved against mine. I was lost in the moment and overwhelmed by the passion.
For a moment, his hand pulled me closer and then instantly he pulled away bringing me back into reality.
My eyes shot open as I realized what I had just done. I just kissed my best friend's boyfriend.
"I think you should go." I said stepping back until I hit the stairs that sat in front of the door. My fingers touched my lips where his had just been; they were still tingling.
Without a word, he nodded and left, shutting the door softly behind him. I went to the door, locked it swiftly, and then turned so that my back was resting against the cold metal of the door. I slumped down and lowered myself until I was sitting on the ground. I put my head in my hands and I cried.
I didn't sleep at all that night.
Jasper and I had blown it off as if nothing had happened but sitting here next to him now almost a week later, in the silence, I knew deep down that it was far from nothing. I could not stop thinking of Jasper. Replaying all of the laughs and extra tight hugs in my mind; it was obvious they were more than just a friendly way of saying hello. In retrospect, all of the signs were there; we were just too blind and unwilling to see them.
After the kiss, I couldn't bare to look at Alice for days. I avoided her at all costs and it killed me that on the fourth day of avoiding her, she came to me with tears in her eyes asking me what she had done. It broke my heart to see her upset. Even more so, for her to think it was something she did to bring on this sudden distance between us. I brought her into a hug, making up some sort of story about PMS, hoping she wouldn't figure out later that I had been lying.
I hated this. I hated not knowing what was going through his head. Why was he allowing this to happen? On the other hand, had I made this to be something much more than it really was? Was it all in my head? But what was I going to say? "Jasper we need to talk about all of the different ways you make me think about you?" "Do you know what you do to me when your hand brushes up against mine?" "Do you know that every time I look at you, I want to continue our kiss from last week?" None of those questions were appropriate. None of this was supposed to happen. I needed to, for the sake of Alice and our friendship, forget about all of this and just move on.
I stood up, straightening my black cardigan. "Okay, well if Alice shows up in the next hour have her text me or something but I think I am going to go home for now. I'll see you later." I said gathering my things.
"Wait, Bella, don't go."Jasper said standing up.
He walked the few feet in between us, took my book bag from my arm, and set it back on the ground. "Darlin' you and I need to talk." His eyes searching mine as if he was looking for a sign.
I nodded, swallowing hard. His face was getting closer to mine, and soon I could feel the heat radiating off his face. "Yes we do." I said, not sure where the courage to speak came from.
"Bella, I…" He started to say, but he was cut off as we heard the front door open swiftly. He shot away from me and I turned around hoping my face wouldn't give myself away.
I turned back around and saw Jasper walking over to the foyer where Alice was standing. She set her last bag down and wrapped her arms around his neck. I turned my back to them, hating myself for having to look away.
Thinking I would just call it a night, I grabbed my purse and book bag and headed to the foyer. Alice greeted me with a smile. "Bella! I am so sorry I am late, there was a huge sale! Long story short, I bought some killer outfits for the Halloween party I am throwing next weekend!" She said enthusiastically. She glanced at my bags and looked back up at me. "Are you leaving?" She asked with a pout in her voice.
I shrugged and glanced at Jasper quickly who was standing against the wall with his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I think I am going to head in tonight. I have to be up early for work tomorrow and I really don't want to do homework after work. Have fun tonight though!" I said giving her a quick hug and headed out the door.
I made it home in my old beat up truck in minutes and settled in for the night, cuddled up in sweats with a bowl of ice cream in front of the television.
What was I going to do? I couldn't hurt Alice, and I sure as hell couldn't get Jasper out of my head. Our senior year had just begun and I knew that if I pulled away from Alice, the group would fall apart and that was the last thing I wanted.
My thoughts were interrupted an hour later when my phone beeped, letting me know I had a new message. I had talked to Alice a few times that night, reassuring her that everything was ok. And I had assumed it was her that was messaging me, but I was wrong and my breath hitched when I saw that it was Jasper.
B, we really need to talk. Alice is going to bed early tonight, can I stop over? I just want to talk.
I sighed. I knew eventually that we needed to talk about the kiss. But I wasn't ready for it. I had experienced enough awkward for one night.
Not tonight, I don't think I can .~B
Hoping that would be the end of the conversation, I hit send and closed my phone shutting off the television and heading into the living room to set my dishes into the sink. They would have to wait until tomorrow I thought as I shut the light off in the kitchen. I walked down the hallway and started to head up the stairs when I heard an all too familiar sound, the doorbell.
I knew who it was before I even got to the window situated beside the door. I sighed pushing away the feeling of excitement at the site of Jasper and opened the door.
He walked in and looked at me. His gaze met mine and instantly I could see the conflict in his eyes. He was just as torn and tortured as I was. I had no words; I shrugged, feeling the tears gathering in my eyes. There was no denying the charged air between us. Here he was, standing in my hallway looking as gorgeous as ever. He slowly walked towards me and I was surprised I didn't move away. My feet would not budge and my heart was pounding with anticipation. He came closer and I watched as he slowly brought his hands to my face. "Bella, don't move ok? I want to see something."
I nodded and I let him kiss me. His lips were gentle and I imagined it had to do with where he was from. Everything about Jasper was gentle. Even his kisses were gentleman like. His lips kissed mine, bringing back that tingling sensation I had experienced with him before. He kissed my bottom lip, then my top and then pulled away to look at me.
This was happening, and even though my head was screaming how wrong this was, my body was yearning for something much different.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. He kissed my cheek, my nose and then my lips briefly before moving to my neck. A small groan escaped my lips and I felt him press himself harder against me as he moaned against my mouth. I pulled away, taking his hand and leading him upstairs to my bedroom.
With every step I took leading to my room, there was another reason not to do this that was pushed away. When we got to my door, I turned as he grinned mischievously and pulled me towards him.
Where was this coming from?
He pushed me backwards and we entered my room and soon found the bed.
Hands were flying everywhere until his soft hands came to a stop at my zip up hoodie I had put on after coming home from Alice's.
He watched my eyes as he slowly brought the zipper down, the anticipation of what was going to happen pulling at me in all of the right places.
"We can talk later" He whispered into my ear, bringing his lips to my neck again after he spoke his words. I pushed up into him as my answer. Jasper had been so unreachable for so many months now and finally I was able to come undone around him. I wanted all of him.
My sweatshirt was now off revealing that I had on a burgundy wife beater. The cold air encompassed my chest and made my nipples hard and reminded me that I hadn't put a bra on underneath.
My hands went under his shirt and I quickly found out that Jasper was muscular. It had never occurred to me, or maybe it was just that I hadn't allowed myself to look before now. I kissed him as my hands ran up and down his chest softly and slowly tickling his hot skin. I finally pulled his shirt off him and admired his physique. He leaned down into me more and my hands found his lean back. With my fingertips ran down the length of his back, stopping at his shoulder blades and then the top of his jeans.
He groaned and kissed me harder as I ran my finger underneath the very top of the band of his boxers, touching the softest part of his skin.
Not wanting to push him further, I brought my hand back up and used it to run my fingers through his messy hair.
"Isabella." He moaned as my fingers scraped against his skin underneath his hair. A bolt of excitement ran through me in all of the right places at the sound of my name coming from his lips.
His hands moved from the grip they had on my hips and went to the bottom of my shirt. I bucked my hips up urging his hands underneath my shirt. His warm fingers touched my skin yet they sent chills throughout my body.
I waited and kissed him as his fingers danced across my belly, then slowly up towards my breasts. He halted his lips and looked at me as his fingers encountered my naked breasts. "You're not wearing anything underneath?" He asked almost disbelievingly.
I grinned and my cheeks flushed, "Nope." I answered.
"You are going to kill me darlin." He said as his lips crashed back down to mine, and his fingers played gently. He sat up with his legs straddling my sides. His hands went to the bottom of my wife beater and he barely whispered, "May I?"
I knew what he wanted and so I gave it to him. I sat up so that we were kneeling in front of each other and I scanned his eyes. Finding the courage, I brought my hands to the hem of my shirt and lifted it off me. His eyes looked down at me and then he gazed into my eyes greeting me with his famous half smile. "You are gorgeous sweetheart." He said kissing my chest and then trailing his kisses upwards as his hands grabbed my breasts frantically.
He lowered me down, our chests bare against each other and he rubbed against my sex. I followed his lead and rubbed into him as he did me. Not much longer after, I felt the familiar build up over come me. I bit into his shoulder. "Let go Bella." He said, panting. And so that is what I did. I came hard, feeling as if I were crashing down.
We continued exploring and kissing for what seemed like hours after that.
"So much for talking." I said after he and I had calmed down enough. My back was now to his bare chest and my head was resting on his arm.
He kissed my hair, "I know you may not believe me, but this was not my intention when I sent you that text. I really did want to talk." He said into my hair.
I rolled over so that I was facing him, and he brushed my hair out of my face. "We really do need to talk though Jasper. As much as I loved what just happened, I can't hurt Alice. I love her too much."
He sighed and closed his eyes. "I know me too.' He said simply. "But it is impossible to not want to be with you. Whenever I see you that is all I want to do and all I can think about. Ever since that first kiss, I cannot get you out of my head. Before that functioning around you was do-able, but after kissing you it has become unbearable."
I brought my hand up and rubbed my eyes, "But for Alice, we need to stop this. This cannot happen again." I said motioning to our bodies that were still tightly intertwined.
"So what do we do? Ignore each other in the normal way that we would, given our situation?" He asked.
I thought about that, and knowing it would be hard, I nodded bringing my head closer to the crook of his neck. "We can't move forward with this, nor can we go behind her back. It would kill her." I said, knowing my words may be all too real.
I felt his head above mine nod in agreement and I knew he knew what I was implying.
We didn't speak for a while and then he broke the silence by lifting my chin with his finger, "What a way to end this then huh?" He said as he brought my lips to his.
He kissed me for a little while longer after that and then he got up, gathering his shirt and handing me my hoodie.
I zipped it on suddenly very self-conscience because I had been wearing a very thin shirt without anything underneath it.
We walked downstairs and he slipped his shoes on. He opened the door, turned to me, and leaned in to kiss me one last time.
The kiss ended too soon, and he started to leave only to turn back around and look at me. "By the way Bella, you are anything but ordinary. You are beyond beautiful." He said and then he got into his Ford pick up and left.
My cheeks burned at his comment and I closed my door, and slumped down against it and found myself in a similar situation from the first time he kissed me.
The month following that night was like my own personal hell. Facing Alice was even harder this time then it had been before. I had to remind myself constantly to try to make sure I wasn't looking at Jasper a certain way, or acting out of the ordinary. So far, Alice hadn't seemed to catch on.
We spent almost every night texting each other back and forth. He had formed a nickname for me; honeybee. And I knew it was stupid and childish but every time he started his texts off with honeybee, or whispered it into my ear when no one was looking, my cheeks turned a bright shade of red. We talked about little things and could spend hours on one subject. But when it came to the harder stuff, like what we were going to do about our situation, neither of us had anything to say.

XXX

I woke up to the sound of my phone alarm going off. I had made sure to set it with plenty of time to get ready for Alice's Christmas party. It had been a very long Saturday. I had woken up at five am that morning and then went straight into work. When I got home around three, I knew if I didn't get some sleep, I would be no fun at the party tonight.
Alice was notorious for her parties and the last one, the Halloween costume party, was still being talked about. Her parents were pretty cool about things, and promised to stay out in the guesthouse for the remainder of the night.
Stepping into the shower, I turned the water the hottest it would go and sighed as I felt the steam and the heat of the water fall around me.
Feeling the cold water starting to come through, I decided I would end the shower before the hot water ran out. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked into my room and stood in front of the plastic bag that held my outfit for the night.
Against my will, Alice had picked something out for me to wear tonight for her party. It was a black laced dress. The fabric under the lace was a soft dusty rose and the lace was black. It was fitted nicely and I had paired it with my flats and a three quarter length black cardigan.
She swore that with this dress on, every single guy there wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off me. Let's hope she was wrong for Jasper's sake and mine.
My makeup didn't take long and before I could change my mind about going, it was time to go to Alice's. I checked my phone once more and saw that Jasper had sent me a text.
Honeybee, we need to do something about us soon. I can't take it much longer not being able to touch you. And I hate keeping this from Alice. My heart belongs do you darlin; let's make this right if that's even possible…
I replied, Ok, babe and shoved my phone into my purse ready for whatever the night might bring.
I got to the party not too long after it had officially started and was amazed at how many people had already arrived. I swore my whole high school was there as I looked around trying to find a familiar face.
That's when I saw Alice, gliding towards me with a huge smile on her face. "You're here!" she exclaimed throwing her arms around me. She pulled away shortly after "I knew you would rock that dress!" She said, approving of my look.
I laughed, "Thanks Alice. What did you do invite the whole school?" I asked jokingly.
She rolled her eyes and smiled, "That is exactly what Jasper said earlier. And no I didn't, I couldn't invite the underclassmen; that would be weird!"
"Alice, I could use a little help here!" I heard Edward shout from the kitchen.
Alice gave me a quick kiss and said, "Be right back, make yourself at home…you know the drill by now!" And with that she was gone.
I grabbed a drink of some sort and downed it, not even allowing myself to enjoy the taste of it. I looked around the room and soon found Alice standing in the corner laughing with Jasper about something. I cringed at the site of it and downed more of my drink, wishing it had contained some sort of alcohol content.
"Awe!" I heard someone exclaim from the side of the room that Alice and Jasper were on. My eyes shot immediately to them to see what was going on, when I suddenly wished I hadn't. Alice had grabbed Jasper and was kissing him underneath the mistletoe.
Not being able to take it anymore, I walked quickly out of the room and into a secluded room that was down the hall. I stood by the window and watched the snow fall silently to the ground.
There was something so calming and soothing about snow. You could get lost in your thoughts while looking at the magic of white coming from the sky. The snow made me want to go outside and jump in piles of it, and lay there making snow angels. I wanted to have a snowball fight with Jasper and lie in the snow while he kissed my nose.
But I knew none of that was going to happen. At least not now, I coudn't do that to him or his relationship. If I did, it would screw everything up and I didn't think I was ready to be the reason for our friendships to end.
Too deep in my thoughts, I didn't hear the door open or Jasper as he walked in.
Once I realized I was not alone, I turned towards him; he reached out, and wiped away a tear that I had not even realized was there.
"Honeybee, I hate to see you like this. I am so sorry you saw that." He said putting his hand over mine softly.
I looked towards the door as a warning to him; letting him know that at any moment, she could walk through that door.
He came closer to me slowly and then with his finger, brought my face up so that my eyes were level with his own. "Bella, I am in love with you." He whispered.
With his words, I completely melted and suddenly came to the realization the feelings I had been having for him could no longer be ignored. I touched my forehead to his and nodded, and through the tears I said, "I love you too." And he kissed me.
"I fucking knew it!" I heard an all too familiar voice coming from the doorway.
I pushed Jasper away and my eyes shot to a very upset and hurt looking Alice.
Before either of us could say anything, she was off. Jasper was next following after her, and I was behind him.
We ran through the house and I ignored the looks that everyone was giving us. I knew they didn't know but somehow I felt as if though every single pair of eyes was judging me.
She led us out into her front yard and stopped briefly. It killed me to see her so hurt, so upset and I watched as I saw tears streaming down her cheeks, now pink from the cold. "How could you do this to me? Out of anyone, I trusted and loved you the most!" She said. Her words obviously directed towards me.
She turned towards the street and then she ran.
At that point, everything happened so fast, it was but a blur. I stood there as I watched Jasper run after her. It felt as though in that moment he had made his decision. It was Alice, not me. I would have to deal with the aftermath. Sickened by the realization that I just lost my best friend, my sister and my confident and now as Jasper ran after her, I had lost my love.
My life was unraveling before my eyes and I did not have the power to stop it.
I turned back towards the house to see Emmett coming through the front door. His lips mouthed, "What is going on?" But I heard nothing except the sound of tires screeching behind me.
I spun around to see where the sound was coming from but as soon as I saw what had happened, I wished I had never have looked. I dropped to my knees unable to breath, in disbelief, wanting desperately to believe I was in caught in a nightmare that I couldn't wake from.
The road that Alice and Edward lived on wasn't a very busy road. They had just the normal neighbors passing through, but nothing more than that. On this night, a UPS truck had turned the corner a little too sharp, and skidded violently on the black ice.
Even if the driver had seen them in time, he never would have been able to control his truck before it hit Jasper dead on.
A/N I have never written a Bella and Jasper story before, but after learning about the Bellspar contest and hearing a song on the radio that inspired me, I ended up writing this in one night. It was a challenge and I hope that you all enjoyed it. Thank you SO much to Monica, you are one hell of a beta and I love ya!