Hush

This was my entry for the Fandom4Preemies fundraiser. Hope you enjoy it, it was my first Jasper and Alice fic :)

The walk to my place of work was one of my favorite parts of the day. Most of my co-workers at the newspaper I work for, hated going into work. They loathed the subway just as much as they dreaded the demanding deadlines imposed upon them, albeit part of their job.
I, unlike almost everyone in New York City, chose to walk to work every day. Sure, on occasion when the weather was not cooperating, I would descend the stairs leading to the dark underbelly of the city and board the subway. I swear I am going to end up with a disease from sitting in those plastic orange chairs. The New York subways are vile at best.
Fall in New York City is unlike anything else. The colors of the leaves falling and scattering randomly covering the narrow sidewalks; the aroma that fall brings and the clothing for the fall season always makes me happy inside.
So here I was, three blocks away from work, my hands in my coat pockets and my mind a million miles away. It was just another Thursday, right?
Wrong.
Ten years ago, I was just a junior in college whose life had been changed forever. The pain was still very real and recalling that fateful day in the hospital felt like yet another knife slicing me open. I was damaged. And even though my life was perfect to people on the outside, I was broken into pieces on the inside.
I shook my head trying to clear my mind attempting to allow myself to think of something else, when I heard my name being called from across the street.
"Alice!" She shouted.
I looked over and saw Bella Swan getting ready to cross the road to reach me. She looked to her right once more before running over to me. She was dressed up today and it reminded me she had her interview today for the promotion she had been aiming for ever since I met her on our first day at the New York Gazette.
As Bella approached my sidewalk she tried to smooth out her shirt which was tied all wrong. I reached over to help her fix it and she sighed. "What would I do without you?" She exhaled and nervously ran a hand through her long dark brown hair.
I smiled, "I don't think we should think about it, the answer might scare you."
We walked the few blocks left and sat down on the first step of many leading up to the front doors of our building. "You're going to do great Bella, I know it! Being an editor is something that you were born for." I said wanting to keep the conversation positive and light so as not to make her anymore nervous that she already was.
Bella smiled, "Yes, that's what Edward said to me this morning. He stayed home from work just so he could tell me that, at least that was his excuse. I think he just wanted to look good so he would get some tonight." She said in a laugh.
Bella and Edward were high school sweethearts. According to her, when she moved to her hometown in Forks fifteen years ago they had this immediate magnetic connection she still was unable to describe. Even at age 16 and 17, they just knew. Bella and Edward married young, way before I knew her, and were still nauseatingly in love today. Edward was a nice guy; very handsome too, but you didn't hear that from me. And even though Bella claimed they didn't, they looked amazing together; in fact perfect.
Bella shuffled her feet next to me, and my attention was brought back to the present. She looked up at me and groaned. "Please say something that will distract me from wanting to throw up! I have two hours until my interview and I don't think I am going to make it with you being silent."
I grinned and tried to rack my brain for something we could discuss to distract Bella. Then I remembered the conversation I had been putting off for days with her. This would definitely take her mind off of things.
"Well about that blind date you set me up with. That was a disaster!" I said, not particularly wanting to relive the awkwardness of that awful night.
Too late.
"What? I thought you and James would have hit it off right away! Did you even give him a chance Alice?" She asked, knowing me all too well. I was notorious for getting out of set ups and I hated to admit it, but I always found something wrong with the new guy.
I enlightened Bella, sparing none of the unpleasant details, knowing if I left anything out, I would never hear the end of it.
The date itself would have been nice, if James weren't such a fucking creeper. The opening line he used when we first met was "I picked this place out just in case the conversation sucks with you; we will at least still have fun." After he said that I knew the entire night was going to be a complete disaster.
His staring wasn't unwelcome at first. I actually took it as a compliment when I found him looking at me as I ordered my food for the night. However when I went to put a bite of food in my mouth for the fourth time that night and caught him staring at me with his mouth slightly open, that's when I got freaked out.
Let's just say I was out of there not too long afterwards and had to go over the top to convince him I was ok to walk home…alone.
Bella just shook her head, "Okay, so I agree with you he is definitely creepy." She said stretching her legs out in front of her. "Now on to the next guy for you…" she said, trailing off her sentence because she knew I wouldn't want to comply.
"No, I am done being set up Bella!" I argued.
"Alice you know as well as I do it has been, I'm sorry to say, but way too long since you have been with a guy. You need to get out there and meet someone!"
I hated to admit it but I knew in my heart she was right. I was sick of the endless nights I spent "turning in early" because I had nothing better to do. If I were truly honest with myself it was that I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment. The last time I was in a long term relationship, it had not ended so well.
Don't think about him Alice…I said to myself.
"Bella I don't know what you want me to do. I've dated, and look where it has gotten me. The only thing I haven't done is sign up for one of those stupid online dating websites." And as soon as I the words passed over my lips, I wished desperately I could take them back.
"Oh my God Alice you SO should sign up on one of those dating sites. I have a friend whose sister joined one and she and her husband have been married for almost four years and are pregnant with their second child. Seriously, you have to do it!" She said, her voice getting way too excited for my own good.
"Whoa, Bella I am nowhere near being ready to even entertain a discussion regarding kids. No way!"
"Oh shut up Alice, you knew exactly what I meant. Come on, at least make a profile. There are plenty of sites that have 'view your matches before you continue your search' She said in an all too familiar commercial voice.
I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Please drop it Bella. I am not going to sign up for some stupid website to tell me what guys I should date just based off of ten questions about my favorite color and my extracurricular activities." She folded her arms and pouted like a five year old. I sighed as I exhaled and looked at my watch. If Bella wanted to be on time, we needed to get inside.
"Bella, I hate to interrupt this little intervention thing you are doing, but if you want to be on time for your interview, you better get in there!" I said standing up and honestly thankful for the diversion from this painful conversation.
Bella had me give her one more quick 'once over' to ensure she looked put together for her interview, and when I gave her the go-ahead, we walked inside.
The interview supposedly had gone really well, and tomorrow she would be notified one way or another. She seemed very encouraged and was hopeful they would extend her an offer. I wanted to take Bella out for a drink but she declined saying she was too tired.
Two hours later, I found myself in my bedroom, sitting at my desk, glass of wine in my hand and my eyes glued to the blank computer screen.
I scoffed at myself. Why was I about to do this? It wasn't for Bella; I knew she would get over the idea and just move on to her next strategy to find me someone. But I was alone, and I hated it. I loathed coming home to an empty space and slipping my shoes off to only see my own shoes next to them. I hated when I had a good day, or a bad day, and the only people I had to talk to were Bella and a few other friends. Even though they said I was never bothering them, I always would hesitate before calling. Knowing all too well I was intruding upon a part of their lives I didn't have; marriage and happiness.
I clicked the power button and took a very large sip of my merlot and impatiently waited for the computer to turn on. What seemed like years later, my computer finally booted up and I went to my home screen's search engine and typed in 'dating websites'. Note to self; I would have to make sure I deleted all of my browsing history after this.
I was suddenly overwhelmed with all of the different websites there were to choose from. What the hell was I supposed to do? Close my eyes and just pick one? Well that is exactly what I did.
I was greeted by an exaggeratedly happy looking couple on the website's home page with a picture and "their story" underneath. All of a sudden I felt so ridiculous…what was I thinking? Really how was this even going to work? I moved my cursor and hovered over the red X to exit out of the screen when I paused. I was reminded of the dreadful feeling of being alone. Instantaneously a sickening sensation fiercely ripped through my stomach. Acting on my fear, and quite frankly against my better judgment, I clicked the sign up button and started filling out my application.
A half an hour later, and fifteen minutes more then they promised it would take, I was finished. I sat back and looked at my profile. I hadn't chosen a picture of me for my profile, instead a picture of my favorite street in New York City adorned with snow, filled the picture space. I may have been comfortable enough answering questions honestly, but I wasn't ready for people to be able to recognize me.
Polishing off the last of my glass wine, I thought, what the hell, and left my room to go fill my glass with more wine. By the time I returned there was a little red box situated at the top right hand corner, alerting me I had a new message contact.
My stomach turned over and my nerves kicked into high gear. Setting my wine down, I clicked open the red box. "WingsOnFire1843 would like to add you to his friends list" And it asked me to accept or decline. "Well that was fast" I said to empty space.
I opened his profile, and like mine he didn't have any personal pictures posted of himself just a few non-descript pictures. There were a few scenic pictures of where he said lived and I quickly assumed he was also from New York City.
"Hmm" Interesting, I thought. I clicked accept and then sat back, wondering what was going to happen next.
The next morning I woke up feeling stupid. I didn't sleep much last night, mostly because I couldn't believe I had actually succumbed to signing up on a dating website. I was determined to get out of bed and immediately delete my profile.
However, all of my thoughts of deleting my account were quickly eliminated when I saw WingsOnFire1843 has sent me a personal message.
I quickly opened the message and read intently.
Hi Citygirl79
Thanks for the add last night. My friends finally pressured me into getting one of these things, and you were on the recently added section and thought I would say hi. I have never done this before, are you new to this world too?
Simple but nice… I smiled and typed a quick response; glancing at the time he had sent it, making sure I didn't look too desperate.
WingsOnFire1843
It looks like you and I are in the same boat. My friend has been trying to get me to join one of these sites for a few months now and last night I finally gave in…this is kind of weird, isn't it?
I hit send and decided to get in the shower to start my day. There is no way I could ever be late because I was stuck chatting on a dating website; I would never hear the end of it. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back into my bedroom and slipped into my robe. I looked at my computer and saw he had replied.
You never know.
That was his entire response. He was right and with that I finished getting ready and thankfully on time, I walked out the door and started my walk to work.
The next couple of weeks were interesting. Bella had gotten the promotion she had wanted and we celebrated by going out to dinner. I waited a week or so to tell her about the dating site, and when I did she pretty much squealed in her seat.
WingsOnFire and I had been talking pretty frequently. And I found myself staying up until the late hours of the evening talking to him. His conversation was simple yet intriguing. We didn't know too much personal information, besides the fact we lived in the same city. I figured that was something I could share; NYC was big enough that if he knew I lived there it wouldn't make a difference. I found myself looking forward to coming home and checking my computer. It was all the incentive I needed to rush home and now I was no longer alone. But I knew it was a far cry from being in a relationship. Seriously, I didn't even know the guys name!
We had exchanged emails after about two weeks of talking and had stopped using the dating site, which I was happy about!
I learned that he grew up in Texas and had moved to NYC about six years ago after a hard breakup, wanting a new start. He was six foot two with blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. After that description, I was dying for a picture.
Bella constantly reminded me that she was the one who had introduced me to the online world and blah blah blah.
After a few months of talking and "getting to know each other" we decided we should officially meet on New Years Eve. There was something about his words that were comforting and trustworthy. Regardless, I knew caution was a necessity when meeting someone you had been talking to online. So when I had told Bella about it, she asked Edward to be at the restaurant on New Years Eve. Of course he agreed so Bella would be there as well so she could "assess" the situation.
I was embarrassed I was going to have someone secretly looking out after me when I met WingsOnFire but I knew it was a necessity.
That morning, I woke up way too early for my own good. I tossed and turned for about another hour and finally I gave up. I decided to head to the gym that was a few blocks over. Thank God it was a 24 hour gym because I seriously needed to work out and get my mind off of things.
It was only 5:30 in the morning, and the streets were peaceful, only a few people setting up their stores. I smiled; this is what I loved about the city. It could be crazy busy during the day and the night, but when you caught it at this time of morning, it was calm and serene.
My workout calmed my nerves enough to allow me to function throughout my day and before I knew it, Bella was calling to remind me about the details for the night.

"Ok, so Edward and I have reservations for the same time that you and your boy do. So we will be around and just keep an eye out for where you go. Hopefully we won't be too close, but close enough to know if you need us. Remember if you feel uncomfortable just use the signal we talked about. Pretend like you are getting your cell phone out of your coat pocket and Edward will be at your side in a second ok?" She said in the phone, and I wondered how she remembered it all. Usually I was the one in our friendship who was so hung up on the small details.
"Yes, I remember, and Bella?" I asked into the phone.
"Yes Alice?" She responded.
"I really appreciate you doing this tonight. I know it's probably not how you envisioned your New Years Eve dinner going but thank you." I said walking into my closet to figure out what to wear for tonight.
"Alice, you're my best friend. Of course I would do this for you. And hey, if all goes well maybe he will join us for our New Years Eve party later tonight. And if not, I have someone in mind for you to meet." She said already thinking of someone else for me to meet up with.
I sighed and let her talk it out while I picked out my outfit for the night. I had told him I would be wearing dark purple since I knew I would have plenty of a selection of shirts to choose from.
We hung up twenty minutes later and I took a shower for the second time that day and started getting ready.
The restaurant he had picked was nice but also causal. I had heard of it before and had seen it a few times wanting to go inside, but had never had a reason to.
Finally I was dressed and was in a cab on the way to the restaurant. It was so fucking cold outside and I figured it would be better if my limbs weren't purple when I finally met him. He had been talking about this ever since I brought it up. He was so excited and my excitement matched his own. Like he had said that first day, you never know where life will take you. I was anxious to see what would happen.
When I got the restaurant I spotted Bella and Edward standing at the gate waiting to get in and I waved and Bella gave me a reassuring smile. I made my way up to the hostess and told her I was here for a reservation under the name Wings. We thought it would be appropriate to wait to give each other our names until we officially met. That way it would be more official.
She led me to a table that was in the middle of the floor. There was no way he would miss me while sitting here. I slipped my jacket off and ordered an iced tea. Not too long after I saw Bella and Edward being led to a booth that was just three over from me.
My nerves gave my stomach butterflies and I put my hand to it to try and calm it down. No such luck.
I looked at my phone to check for any messages from him when I noticed the time. It was the official time we had planned to meet and I looked around, searching for a guy who appeared to be looking for someone.
I didn't see anyone and returned to my tea, which was almost gone. I was just about to signal for the waitress when I felt a hand on my shoulder and a voice that instantly calmed my nerves.
"Are you citygirl?" He asked and I smiled turning my head to meet his eyes.
"Yes and you must be…Jasper?" I said as I looked into the eyes of my ex boyfriend.
"Alice? This must be a mistake, I am meeting someone here. I'm sorry I bothered you." He said starting to walk away.
"I'm citygirl, Jasper. Are you WingsOnFire?" I asked unable to mask the look of shock on my face.
He nodded and then sat down, realizing what I was still trying to process.
"It's been you this entire time?" I asked him still waiting for someone to walk in and say he was the real WingsOnFire. But no one did.
He nodded and I put my napkin on the table. How could I have missed all of the signs? From Texas, almost 10 years ago he had a bad breakup and was the exact physical description of my ex.
"Listen Alice, you know if I had any idea it was you I would never have done this. I know things weren't left very well when we last saw each other…"
"Very well? Are you kidding me? You basically threw me out after you found out about…" I said but I couldn't stand to continue. The past was too painful and I didn't want to relive it here. I wanted to go home, climb in bed and disappear for a couple of years.
"Alice, you never even gave me the chance to explain!" He started.
"Why would I ever give you a chance to explain Jasper? I will never forgive you for what you did to me." I said. I started to gather my things when I noticed Edward walking over with a look of confusion on his face. I motioned to him that I was ok and I stood up grabbing my purse and jacket. "I can't do this, have a nice life Jasper."
And I walked out, Bella and Edward were right behind me.
I got to the curb and signaled for a cab hoping I would have some sort of luck on New Year's Eve.
"Alice, wait!" I heard Bella shout. "What's going on? Are you alright?" She asked putting a hand on my arm.
I turned and let her wrap her small arms around me, bringing me into a much needed hug. "Why don't we get you home?" She asked as a cab pulled up.
I shook my head and pulled myself together. "No, you two go and have fun. I think I should just go home and take a bath or something." I said opening the cab door.
"Alice, regardless of our party, which isn't for another three hours and everything is already set up, I am here for you. So get in and scoot over I'm coming home with you." She said turning to Edward and kissing him lightly. "I'll meet you at home soon, okay?" She asked as he smiled in response.
The drive home was silent and I was grateful for that. It gave me a chance to think. I hadn't seen Jasper since the day of our break up. I shuddered at the thought and was so angry I was forced to relive the moments.
I was finally home and we walked into my apartment. I got myself and Bella a cup of tea and went to change into some more comfortable clothes. Bella and I sat down on the couch and I spilled my past to her.
Jasper and I had met our senior year of High School when he had moved from Texas to Seattle after his parents had gotten divorced. He had a twin sister, Rosalie, who was so gorgeous on the outside, but if you crossed her the wrong way, she would tear you apart. His parents owned their own oil company and were partnered up with one of the most powerful cartels in the oil industry. Needless to say they were obscenely wealthy; even after the divorce they would never have to work again. When we met I was immediately drawn to his southern kindness. He was always so courteous and gentleman like; pulling my seat out for me, opening doors for me…even before we were dating. It didn't take long, and a few months into our senior year, we were dating. Our relationship was easy and in a way that only we understood, we saved each other. It was like we were magnets and we were just pulled together. I fell in love with him instantly and by the end of high school, I had a promise ring on my finger and he had my heart.
We decided to go to the same college because being apart was just not an option. I would go wherever he needed me to and I knew he would do the same.
The sex was amazing and at the risk of sounding cliché, it was beautiful. He was so gentle, loving and compassionate. Though so very gentle, our passion was never less then on fire. By age 19 I knew I had found the man for me.
Everything was great; we moved into an apartment together and quickly got over the small bumps in our relationship. He would whisper in my ear late at night, often while we were tangled up in each other's arms. Forever reminding me he would always be here for me and nothing could ever break us apart. I would nod and kiss his soft lips and snuggle in closer to him, content with our love.
But his promises were so easily broken our junior year. I'll never forget that morning I sat in our bathroom, my head in my hands and the little white stick with the pink lines laying next to my leg.
I knew I had been late, but I had been so busy attending classes and the pressure of school deadlines I didn't realize how late I really was. Sure I had been moody, but I blamed it on PMS. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind but not wanting to face it, I ignored all the signs. It was when I started throwing up that I started to panic. I never got sick, and suddenly every morning at the same time, I would run to the bathroom and empty my stomach of all its contents.
I knew realistically it would be hard to keep the baby. We were college students and the baby would be here before our four years were up. Sure we had talked about marriage and someday having kids, but we planned on waiting to get married until we were out of college. The promise ring was no engagement but it was close.
Because I knew I was going to be unable to concentrate if I went to classes, I ended up skipping and spent the whole day trying to think of ways to tell Jasper.
He texted me a few times and I did my best to make sure my responses weren't cryptic; I had a tendency to do that.
Nothing could have prepared me for when he walked through our front door. He was in a fantastic mood and wanted to go out to eat, something we didn't do too often since we were so busy with school and each other.
"Jasper, I have to talk to you about something ok?" I said sitting down on our L shaped couch.
"What's up babe?" he asked, sitting down and taking my hand.
I looked away from our hands and willed myself to not start crying. I knew I was about to change our lives, but we would be ok, just like he said. I felt his hand on my chin and he moved my face so I was looking at him. His blue eyes pierced into mine and he wiped a tear that escaped my eye. "Sweetheart, what is going on…you are starting to scare me."
I took a deep breath, "Jasper, I'm pregnant." I said. Totally not how I wanted to say it but my secret was finally out.
He took in a sharp breath and I dared myself to look at him straight on to see his reaction. I expected shock, fear or even a little bit of excitement. But I was not expecting anger.
"You're what?" He asked dropping my hand, which shocked me.
"I have been feeling sick, and I was late but didn't think anything of it. You and I are always so careful. But I needed to know for sure, so I bought a test this morning after you left and it says I am pregnant." I said, telling him the whole story and slowly feeling as if there was a brick lifted off of my chest. However, with the look on his face, that brick was replaced with another, and then another.
He stood up and rubbed his face with his hands, something he only did when he was frustrated, annoyed and angry. Not something you would expect after hearing you were going to be a father. Seriously, we were only a few years early with our life plan…it couldn't be that bad!
"Alice, I have to get out of here." He said slipping his shoes back on. He turned to me. "I love you but I can't do this. I don't think this is going to work out."
"And then he left. He didn't give me a chance to respond to him, or to go run after him. He was gone and I was left in our house, his house, alone." I said to Bella, ending my story.
"What happened after that, to you and to the baby?" She asked.
And that's when it got hard to talk about. "I lost the baby two and a half months into the pregnancy. The doctor said miscarriage is far more common than most women realize and in all likelihood I would be able to carry a baby to full term in the future. While it was a comfort to hear this I still was overcome with emotion. The loss was devastating and rocked me to the core. I hadn't even told my parents at that point, and now I had to call them to drive me home from the hospital. After I had miscarried, I sent Jasper an email explaining what happened. I knew he wouldn't answer a phone call; he had never really been a phone kind of guy. After he responded that he had received the email, I didn't hear from him again. Tonight was the first time I had seen him since the day he left. I had no idea I had been talking to him for the past two months." I said blowing my nose in a tissue that Bella had handed me. "My life is a mess, I'm sorry you and Edward got dragged into this."
She rubbed my back, "Alice, I am so sorry; I wish I would have known."
I shrugged, "Thanks for listening Bella, it means a lot."
She nodded, and we were silent for a few more minutes and then she spoke up. "I know you are sad Alice and you probably want to stay in tonight. However I think you should clean up and come back with me to my house. It's going to be a lot of fun, and I can't leave you here alone."
I laughed and I knew if I tried to protest going home with her, I would only lose. "Ok, I'll come." I agreed and I went into my bedroom to change into something for her party.
While in my room, I looked over at my computer which had an orange bar flashing on the bottom of my tabs. I rolled my eyes. It was probably from him.
I pulled my sweater over my head and grudgingly went over to open the message. Sure enough, it was from him. I opened it and took a few deep breaths before starting to read the email he had sent not too long ago.
Alice,
I am so sorry about today. I swear I had no idea it was you. I understand you are mad at me and you have good reason to be, but I would really like to sit down and talk to you. We have a lot that needs to be discussed and I know I don't deserve that from you. Especially after how badly I treated you that day when you told me your news. You didn't deserve that and I know it is no excuse but I walked away because I was scared. I didn't know anything about being a dad. I have yet to forgive myself for what I did to you. Again, I am sorry and I understand you not wanting to talk to me. But if you change your mind, you know where to contact me. I'm going to a party tonight, but I get emails directly to my phone. I hope you are ok, I'm sorry.
Jasper.
I couldn't deal with this now. I shut my laptop and walked out of my room, meeting Bella at the door. We caught a cab and got to her house shortly before people were supposed to arrive.
Their home filled up quickly with people, some of them I recognized but most I didn't. After a very boring conversation with a girl named Angela about some one hundred year old book they found fascinating, I decided I deserved a very stiff drink.
I went into the kitchen to pick my poison and settled on something I hadn't seen since my college years. I smiled and made myself a very small Jaeger-Bomb and downed it in seconds. Then I decided why not indulge a little, it was New Years Eve and I was at a party. So I made myself another more generous sized Jaeger-Bomb and went to walk out. I scanned the crowd and then saw someone that made my heart stop. Jasper fucking Hale was standing in the corner with a bunch of guys. The guys were laughing but he was standing there with a reflective look on his face. He had something on his mind, and I had a feeling I knew what it was.
I turned around, hoping he hadn't seen me. But when I felt someone walk up behind me, I knew he had spotted me as well.
"What are you doing here?" He asked setting his drink down on top of a bookshelf.
I looked at him and tried to push the overwhelming thoughts of his striking appearance out of my mind. He looked very handsome tonight in his jeans and blue sweater that he had put over a long button down striped shirt, rolled up to his elbows.
"I do have friends Jasper." I said harshly.
He looked away. "I know you do. Did you get my email?" He asked.
He wasn't going to waste any time was he? I nodded "Sorry I was too busy to come up with something to say." He ran a hand through his hair; he was nervous. "Jasper, I don't want to have this whole sob fest. It was ten years ago, and it's over with. I just want to forget this happened and move on and live like we have been for the past ten years."
"I can't" He said, slightly shaking his head.
"Why not? You were on a dating website, seems like you were doing alright to me."
He grinned, "Alice, I did something ten years ago that I hate myself for. I hurt the only person I loved. You were my entire life and I ruined everything because I was what? Scared? I am so sorry Alice."
I nodded, letting him know that I had heard him. "I know Jasper. But don't you think I was scared? I had just found out that I was pregnant. I was nervous and scared shitless but I was also kind of excited. I loved you with everything I had. I would have done anything for you and at that time I knew I was going to be with you forever. I never in a million years would have thought something like that would tear us apart." I looked at his face and his eyes were red. I suddenly had the urge to reach out and hug him, tell him things were going to be ok. "Jasper, it's over with. I know you are sorry, and even though it took you fucking long enough…I accept your apology."
His eyes lit up. "You do?"
"I do."
"I should have come back to you sooner after that Alice. I had so much I wanted and needed to say. I didn't want to let you go but after how I had treated you, I figured my words would have been useless."
"Yes, you're right" I said with a small laugh. "I would have wanted to fucking kill you or something."
"Ali?" He said, using the nickname he had given me many years ago. "Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and knew the answer before he had asked the question. "Sure, come here."
He wrapped his big arms around me and I breathed him in. He was so familiar and I hated myself for loving the feeling of him being wrapped around me again.
We stood there for awhile and then he broke the silence. "See, I told you so."
I pulled back a bit, but not breaking the embrace.
10…9…8
"Told me what?" I asked slightly confused.
"That you never know what can happen."
4…3…2…1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! I heard everyone shout.
"You were right."
We smiled at each other, and I innocently put my lips to his, bringing in the New Year. Things weren't going to be easy and I sure as hell wasn't letting him off the hook, but hey you never know what the New Year will bring.
A/N Thank you a million times to my beta Monica (UNF4Rob) you are amazing and I couldn't have done this without you!