I instantly regretted opening my eyes as I was overcome with an all too familiar throbbing sensation taking over my head. I groaned wanting to pull the blinds down to shield the sun. It was the reason for me waking up in the first place. As I was lying on my stomach, all I had to do was reach over and pull on the string and darkness would soon consume my room once again.
Easier said than done. My body felt like it was being weighed down by some invisible force. Too eager to go back to sleep, I tried with all of my might to turn around so I could grasp that fucking string.
With my eyes still closed, I wiggled around and finally as I felt my arm free of the invisible weight and reaching for the string, I heard a loud thud.
"What the fuck!" I said aloud sitting straight up, fully awake now. I gathered my sheets around me as I quickly realized I was only wearing a sports bra and shorts. That thud was definitely not just a pillow hitting the floor.
A groaning sound came from my floor and I wracked my brain trying to remember who had stayed over last night. Not that guy I had fucked. Shit…I needed to get that Plan C or whatever that shit was called before it was too late. The only other person I saw outside of the party I was at, that I could remember was…
"Jasper?" I asked leaning over my bed only to see Jasper laying there, fully clothed and rubbing his head.
"Well that's always a great way to wake up. I highly recommend it for the next time you wake up," he said as he stood up.
Wide eyed, I asked the only question that came to mind, "Did we sleep together or something?"
Laughing and running a hand through his messy, dirty blonde hair he said, "No, Alice, we didn't and the only reason why you don't have your original clothes on is because you kept throwing up on them last night. After the second pair of pants and the fourth shirt, I didn't bother trying to get you to wear something else. You were very persistent about not getting dressed last night."
"I'm sorry," I said, grabbing a shirt from my dresser and slipping it on. "That must have been disgusting. Why did you even stay? I could have handled it all myself I am sure."
"You have no idea how gone you were last night do you? Do you remember anything from last night?" he asked calmly.
Shrugging I said, "Well I remember bits and pieces of it. I remember coming home and then being up here and telling you everything that happened. But after that, I don't. Listen, I can totally take things from here. You really don't have to stay here and babysit me. I should probably get going to the drugstore. I need to get something."
He walked over to my desk and held up a bag. "I picked this up last night after you told me what that asshole did to you. You just have to take the one pill and you're good to go."
How the fuck did he know what to do? "Uhh, thanks but how did you get that without me being there?"
"Well, I can be very charming when it comes to convincing someone to give me what I want." He looked at me and smiled. "My best friend's dad is a doctor. I told him I had a friend who was in an emergency situation and he gave this to me."
I looked down at the box he handed to me, recognizing the label on the box. It was exactly what I would have picked up for myself. Now knowing what he had done for me, I felt bad that only moments ago I was ready to kick him out of my house.
"Uh, well I am going to go to the bathroom and change and take care of this," I said as I motioned to the box. "You can help yourself to whatever here. My parent's housekeeper keeps the refrigerator stocked; help yourself."
Jasper smiled, and I turned my back to him, walking towards my bathroom.
I shut the bathroom door behind me and leaned my back against it. Walking over to the sink I grabbed my water glass from the counter and filled it up with water. Avoiding the mirror, I took the pill and swallowed it. I wanted to erase the whole night as soon as possible.
I looked around my bathroom for any type of shirt I could find. Slipping on an old t-shirt I found on the floor over my head, I finally looked up into the mirror. What I saw scared me. I was unrecognizable. I had dried and smeared mascara covering my eyes and the tops of my cheeks. My lips were puffy as were my eyes. And my hair was knotted in various places. I shook my head not knowing whether I gave a shit or not.
Apparently I did. I turned the water on and splashed my face to wash away my makeup.
Five minutes later, and I was finally feeling back to normal...whatever that was.
My stomach grumbled as welcoming scents filled my nose. I turned the corner from the staircase to the kitchen and was shocked at the sight. Jasper was standing with his back towards me making what smelled like eggs and bacon. My mood shifted quickly from being super hungry, too annoyed and pissed off. He was throwing me a pity party. No, a pity breakfast.
"Jasper, this is nice of you but seriously you don't have to do this."
He turned around and looked at me. "It really isn't a problem. I am almost done."
I folded my arms against my chest. "Well I can finish from here. I really don't need a pity party from anyone!" Please don't argue... I thought to myself, just leave.
He switched the stove off and took the pan off the burner. "See, done."
He walked over to me and his face changed from welcoming and kind, to serious. "I was not throwing you a pity party or whatever you want to call it. I was trying to be nice."
"Well I don't need you to be nice to me, okay?" I shook my head as he still hadn't left. "You know what, just forget it okay? I'll be just fine."
He scoffed and started to walk away, grabbing his keys off of the counter.
"You know, Alice, you aren't the only one here who has problems. Did that thought ever cross your mind?"
I looked down at the ground.
"I'll see you at school."
Something inside of me pained as he started to walk away. And before I could shut my big fat mouth, the words came out like word vomit, "Wait, don't go."
All I could think in that moment was how much I wanted him to stay. I didn't want him to leave and a part of me was scared what would happen if he did.
He turned around and walked back over to me. "Why should I stay, Alice?"
I looked into his blue eyes and knew I couldn't lie to him. "Because I need you. For some fucked up reason you are the one person I know who I need around me. And I am scared what will happen if you walk out that door."
The tears were coming back and I silently cursed myself for them, but my thoughts were silenced as I felt Jasper's arms wrap around my shoulders. They tightened and before I knew it, my own were around his waist.
I pulled back slightly, wiping the tears away that had betrayed me moments ago.
He pushed away a piece of hair. "I'm here Alice. I know I told you that weeks ago on the railroad tracks, but I wasn't lying to you then, and I'm not lying to you now."
I nodded, and the words he had spoken before walking out re-entered my mind. "What did you mean when you said I am not the only one?"
"How about you and I grab a plate of food and I will tell you my story."
He served us both heaping plates of eggs and bacon and as I sat on the counter with my food, I was ready to listen.
"I know it is completely different from what you are going through, so don't think I am trying to make my own experience equal to yours.
"You have shitty parents, Alice. While I am sure you wish you didn't, you at least you know who they are. I am 18 years old and I have never met my own parents. For as long as I can remember I have been shifted from home to home in hopes of finding a foster family that would fit me. The family I am living with, they are my 6th family in just ten years. I have been hurt, maybe not in the same way you are, but I know pain."
My eyes widened as I digested his words. Did that mean he had been physically abused?
"I know what it is like to feel as though you can finally feel that someone actually gives a shit about you and then not even a minute later turn their backs on you. Welcome to my life."
Shocked by this revelation I wasn't sure what to say next.
"So when you ask me to not throw you a pity party, I hope you know that isn't what I am trying to do. I know what it feels like, I can relate. If I can take that pain away from just one person…I guess I'd be happy. Maybe it would make up for the shit I have done in the past."
I smiled, and then the word vomit returned. . "Did they ever hurt you, physically?"
He set his fork down and ran a hand through his hair; something that seemed to be a nervous habit.
"Fuck, Jasper, I'm sorry shouldn't have asked you that. If anyone would ever ask me that, I would have fucking flipped out."
Something in his eyes changed after I asked that; a change that sent chills down my spine. It was all the answer I needed and suddenly I felt the need to be near him.
I hopped down from the counter and walked over to where he was sitting. I sat down next to him and I slowly reached my hand out, taking his in my own.
"You're not alone, Alice," he whispered.
I leaned my head on his shoulder, shocked at my willingness to touch. "I know." And for the first time in God knows how long, I believed it.
A/N Thanks so much for reading and sticking with me on this! And as always to my beta. I want to give a shout out to EmergencyBetaServices they are AMAZING. They sit with you and go over what you are stuck on and try and help. It was great!
Also, I am hosting, with UrNotFukinKStew, a contest called "Hot Summer Nights" please check it out! www (dot) fanfiction (.) net/~HotSummerNights Email is summernightscontest (at) gmail (dot) com .
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